Shrek Sucks!

Sorry, darlings, didn't know how else to say it. And you know when ROXIE is saying that "less is more" you know you're in for a real disaster. So, Shrek I & II are two of the most hilarious, creative, amazing movies that somehow were able to walk the edgy line of child cartoon and adult hilarity/inapporpriateness -- all while creating a gaggle of characters that you absolutely love ... together and separately. Believe me when I say that ALL changes with Shrek III. Thankfully the movie is relatively short (clocking in around 90 minutes). However, the disappointment begins right at "once upon a time we had to create another one of these movies because it makes a donkey pile of dough for us)...the "plot" revolves around Prince Charming still a bitter old queen and seeking vengeance from his high-horse for the throne to Far Far Away (all while doing dinner theater to pay the bills and work out his "issues" -- I mean, what's next, Charming as a Scientologist and "married" to Liza?). Anywho, if you want to see the funny parts of Shrek The Third simply watch the ads on TV ... THOSE ARE THE ONLY FUNNY PARTS IN THE MOVIE. By the first 20 minutes not even Donkey or Puss in Boots can save the movie and you just want to tell those cute little ogres to shut the hell up already. Everyone, especially Myers and Diaz, phone their performances in -- probably literally -- and Murphy gives it his all but still can't make a purse out of a donkey's arse of horrible writing and a confused/swampy storyline. The saving grace, besides the fab animation, was that Rox was able to get a large popcorn and peanut M&M's to take away some of the pain. Thank goodness that movie's ogre. TTGP gives Shrek the Third a 2 out of a six pack of soda.